Trophy Kids
It’s that time of year again. One hour after the envelopes flopped onto the doormat the phone rang. It was Mish from down the road whose DELIGHTFUL daughter Persephone plays with my son Oscar when there’s absolutely NO ONE else around. They’ve both sat the 11+ Exam for a highly selective private school in our town. We weren’t very hopeful but heard on the grapevine they offer the odd bursary to very poor people who own only one house.
Anyway as I was saying, the phone rings and I knew it was Mish from the first whoop:
“We’ve just opened the letter! Sephie’s got an ACADEMIC SCHOLARSHIP to the school!! ANNNDDD a SPORTING SCHOLARSHIP to her second choice. I just wanted to share that with you – isn’t it WONDERFUL!! She was the only girl who won an award in her WHOLE year. Several of her friends never even got a place! I KNOW you’ll be happy for her”.
I WONT. She never ‘fessed up to breaking the end off my Joli Rouge Clarins Lipstick and smearing little measle dots on the mirror in the downstairs bathroom. It cost £19. She was only six but I have a long, unforgiving memory. She’s also incredibly fussy about her food and sits and whines on her father’s lap jiggling his stubbly jowls until he gives her what she wants. Would you be happy for a child like that ?
“Well CONGRATULATIONS to Persephone and it must be said WELL DONE to you and Mick for encouraging her. Ever since the kids first started in Reception, I could see she was going to be an academic high flyer. Not only having two genius parents, but getting really stuck into all that tutoring, right through the holidays for the last three years too!
“Any news for your Oscar?” Mish asks
“Yes he did really really well thanks. Didn’t get in but was only 18 points away from a pass, which is fantastic considering he hasn’t quite mastered the alphabet. Still, at least he’s stopped biting the Dinner Lady and was only suspended twice this term for flushing clothes down the toilets.”
“Oh well never mind, he’s always got his whistling, and he’s so good with the Guinea Pigs.”
“Got to go Mish, I’m just entering a tunnel”
I would love to say Oscar’s been selected to join the National Youth Orchestra, a top junior football club or passed an audition to appear on Britain’s Got Talent. But he hadn’t and didn’t.
But if you want to see raw talent – this is one he drew earlier. (If you are the monkey in the photo, please get in touch and Oscar will happily share the royalties 50/50.)
What’s it like for Trophy Kids I wonder? Were you one?
(This was a guest post from the lovely Gloria aka Gummy Mummy. She’s happy for you to leave your comments here though)
Click here for previous post on unbelievable school reports…
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