Headteacher telling Lady Plumstone her daughter is not gifted and talented

Is your child clever? I mean REALLY clever? Plummy Mummy, seen at the top with Serial Mum, is convinced her own daughter Izzy is an undiscovered genius. Though, in fact, I don’t know any Mums, ANYWHERE, who would be surprised if their child were put on the G&T register*. I think Plummy would like a bit more acknowledgement from the school that Izzy was heading for great things – it would be so nice to be able to let the other Mums know too. She doesn’t believe Serial Mum for a moment – poor little Esmé must be up all hours being drilled by that frightful mother with her ‘vintage’ clothes and loose relationship with domestic order.

So, what do you say when a Mum saunters up to you at Pick-Up and gloats about how clever her offspring is. Do you say:

  1. “Well done him/her! You must be very proud to have such a brainy child, which surely means you and his/her father are brilliant too”.
  2. “Are you ……’s Mum or am I confusing you with a sociopath who lacks any sense of empathy or basic human tact?”
  3. “I am glad (insert child’s name) is doing so well, though just wondered how he/she’s coping with the OCD/anger issues/toilet training etc. these days?

*G&T (for children) = Gifted and Talented
G&T (for adults) = with a slice of lime of course!

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    1. Me too. I always imagine I’m going to come out with something along these lines, but when it comes to it am just too damned polite!

  1. Number 1, but I don’t praise the parents only lol I had a parent once complain to the school because my son was put on a particular reading programme and their child wasn’t! She asked me why my child and not hers when they are both at the same level in class, I just shrugged my shoulders and said it was probably school budget 🙂

    1. Your story doesn’t surprise me, Angela. I know someone like that who started to question not only the teacher’s judgement but the whole school in general. I think you win the prize for diplomacy, though a mother like this might start a whip ’round to buy more books for the class!

    1. Perhaps they’re driven by insecurity and a need to be validated through their children? That’s me being both charitable and psychological 😉

  2. I just don’t really talk to any of the other mums as I’m generally answering emails. So, um, that’s my tip. You’re welcome :p

    PS My son must be a genius. It’s the only explanation for how he is able to outwit me so often 😉

    1. What a great idea – maybe I’ll start to answer emails too even when I don’t get any. PS your son and mine must be related then 😉 Either that or we’re losing it …

  3. My standard response to the Round Robin Christmas Letter full of… “it’s been a busy year for Esmé who has just left school with 10 A*s at A Level, has scholarship offers from Oxford and Harvard, a modelling contract with Storm and is about to start a summer internship working for Goldman Sachs having just raised £1000,000 for charity ….”

    is, ‘we’re getting used to the Borstal visiting hours ”
    I have no idea why this makes me feel I’ve held my own but it does!

    1. That’s a very good response. I’m especially impressed if it is true as Borstal has long been held to be a superior place of learning, where if the students are particularly adept, can go on to have successful careers. Although they only went to Borstal Further Education College, I believe it didn’t do Jeffrey Archer and Jonathan Aitken any harm. Perhaps your Round Robin friends are stumped by considering how much they could have saved in college not to mention private school fees if they went down that route.

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