Quiz – Which type of Mum are you?

A.   Your child brings home a work assignment from school. Do you:

1. Make them do it as soon as they walk through the door?
2. Never look to see if anything is brought home
3. Make sure Nanny is supervising the homework
4. What homework? You’re at a conference 2,000 miles away
5. Life’s too short for homework
6. Tell them you were doing this sort of thing when you were much younger than them
7. Try to stop one of the other children making paper airplanes out of it
8. Write note to teacher saying that child is too busy training for the under-12s Triathlon

B.   Your child come home and tells you they are being bullied at school. Do you:

1. Arrange to meet the bully’s parents and suggest their child has counselling
2. Shave your bloke’s head, cover him in tattoos then send him over to bully’s house to ‘talk’ to them
3. Give your child a smartphone so they can call Childline when they want to
4. Ignore it: you’re far too busy and they’re probably exaggerating
5. Chase the perpetrators down the street on your mobility scooter
6. Think it might toughen your child up
7. Try and remember the next morning which of your children is being bullied
8. Enrol them in Taekwon-Do, Karate and kick-boxing classes

C.   School sports day starts at 9am on Saturday morning in the rain. Do you:

1. Find the children most likely to beat yours. Slip them a glass of Coke (strongly laced with rum) before the races start
2. Write a sick note. No one in the family gets up on Saturday morning
3. Send Nanny along. Pay her extra to cheer on your child
4. Send your personal trainer along to video anything your child looks like winning
5. Wear the Olympic Bronze medal for archery you won at the London Olympics (1944)
6. Gatecrash the children’s races and reach the finishing line first
7. Keep child at home: competitive sport isn’t good for their self confidence
8. Get the child there by 7am to warm up and practice first

D.  You take your child to school:

1. In the car early to make sure you get a parking space
2. On the bus even though the school is only 5 minutes walk away
3. That’s Nanny’s job unless you have a hair appointment and can drop-off en route
4. Not sure where the school is so the taxi collects them
5. In the trailer attached to the mobility scooter
6. By bike. You race them all the way
7. On your tagalong
8. On foot. Jogging non-stop, even at the traffic lights

E.   You dress your children in:

1. Boden
2. Primark, BHS
3. Burberry, Ralph Lauren, The White Company
4. D&G, Paul Smith Junior, Petit Bateau
5. Hand-knitted woollen sweaters and cardigans
6. Osh Kosh, Zara, Stella McCartney
7. Oxfam, Blue Cross, Scope, Car Boot Sales
8. Anything from JD Sports

F.   Your Summer Holiday is usually:

1. An educational tour of a European city
2. Two weeks in Magaluf
3. Your villa in Tuscany, then the Bahamas
4. Holiday? What Holiday?
5. Womad or Camp Bestival
6. Dressing up as a child and entering the International Maths Olympiad
7. A wet week camping in Wales or Cornwall
8. Training for the Great North Run and the Five Peaks Challenge

Mostly 1 –  you are Mission Mum
Mostly 2 –  you are Pyjama Ma
Mostly 3 –  you are Plummy Mummy
Mostly 4 –  you are Higher Flyer
Mostly 5 –  you are Gummy Mummy
Mostly 6  – you are Maxi Mum
Mostly 7 –  you are Serial Mum
Mostly 8 –  you are Runny Mummy

Do let me know which Mum you are (if any!) and which ones you recognise in the playground.

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