Are you looking forward to BritMums Live16 or do you have just a LEETLE sense of apprehension around leaving the kids in the loving care of others?
There are three Euro 2016 matches due to take place the same Saturday BritMums will be in full swing.
1. What’ll your OH be doing with the kids all that time?
a. Watching the footie
b. Mowing the lawn
c. Taking the children out for a day of fresh air and exercise
OK this is definitely sexist because your OH might be a footie-hating bloke or woman if you are a Dad Blogger or gay blogger (or both), but I haven’t time to do any more cartoons this week what with the EU Referendum coming up.
2. If your kids are lucky enough to be taken to a festival over that weekend, will the person taking them be :
a. Father / mother
c. Friend / neighbour
3. Will they :
a. Fill the kids up with food that results in tummy ache and diarrhoea for days
b. Lose them temporarily to a travelling circus troupe or Hip-Hop Pan Pipe band
c. Get drunk and attempt to get up on stage with their 5 string guitar from Uni
4. Are you worried for their safety and will this stop you enjoying yourself at BML16?
c. A bit of both
We’ve just taken delivery of a brand new tumble dryer. Our last one took 5kg of clothes / sheets / pet, and this one takes 8kg or twins. I’m hoping the new one won’t melt a plasticated tablecloth (that some idiot put in the machine) onto child’s school uniform like it did last week. I actually spent ONE WHOLE HOUR shaving hardened white lumps off a pair of corduroys shorts with my twin blade lady razor.
The racing fixtures for the same dates as BritMums Live16 will be at Newcastle, Chester, Windsor and Doncaster and Newmarket racecourses. Royal Ascot will be over, so you could wear your fancy pants hat to The Brewery – a prize of a day’s free childcare chez moi to anyone who dresses like this.
5. If you come from any of the above places, would your allocated childcarer rather :
a. Watch the horse racing live
b. Watch it on TV
c. Spend the day at the bookies
Not long to go now and I haven’t sorted out my conference outfits – this was my transformation two years ago after hiring a stylist. Still didn’t win a prize – can you Adam and Eve it !
Please look out for me there :
More or less blonde haired
Wear big red rimmed glasses
Carry sketchbook and pen
… a glass of vino
… and a smartphone
in my 3 hands
10 excellent tips about Blog Conferences
Also read here how I had a feel of Carol Smillie’s panties
Love it Jo. My OH will be taking N to work with him on the farm. This weekend for Blogtacular N’s swimming lesson has been cancelled but he’ll miss next weeks during BML because the OH won’t take him (that’s 5 on the trot he’ll have missed through other plans, half term, 2 cancelled lessons and me at conferences). N has already announced he doesn’t want to go on the farm with dad because he now does boring jobs. Given he’ll be with him from about 6.30am to 7.30ish, I really hope his dad does something a bit more interesting with him!
Hope to see you there.
Thanks Emma. That’s a long day if you mean 7.30 PM! It’s hard getting others to do what we want isn’t it. I’m learning the skilled art of threat, humour and persuasion rolled into an easily digestible bite-sized portion. Hasn’t worked in 13 years of marriage but hope springs eternal. Hope to see you too at BML xJo
So funny, and for the part at least, possibly quite true! Not for me – I’m not coming. Hope you have a great time though. #TheList
I’m setting off in an hour and all the cartoons are now flashing through my brain, I hope they don’t come back to haunt me! Thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂 #TheList
This made me laugh. I didn’t go to BML16 but this more or less applies to anywhere I might go. Love the cartoons too! #thelist
Thanks a lot Shaney and so glad it made you laugh #TheList
Haha! That’s great. I love your drawings, especially the before and after makeover ones. I didn’t go, but there is always next year. Hope you had a great time. #Candidcuddles
Hi Annette, I’m dong some more drawings for the next post which is a summary of BML. Hope you get to come next year #candidcuddles
First time I come across your blog and it’s a delight! Fantastic post. So funny. Hope you enjoyed BML16.
Ahh thanks so much. Yes I had fun, the hotel was seriously luxurious and didn’t want to leave! BML was good too and met some bloggers in the flesh who were lovely. Hope to see you next year. Tout a l’heure! Jo #candidcuddles
This is so funny – I laughed out loud especially at the shaving the uniform bit…!
Hope you returned home to find husband and child all in one piece.
Must have been the only person ever to have done that – think I could get advertising from gillette or whoever makes them? Yeah they were all in one piece and had a great time at the gypsy violin music party which was held by a family we know and they all play together and tour professionally. A bit envious but glad they had fun. It was really great to meet you in person Beth and I am onto our double portrait today! xJo
Great post, I hope you had a fun weekend. I fall into the football loving Mrs, loving life right now with all the footie! Thanks for sharing and fantastic cartoons, just gorgeous x #CandidCuddles
Thanks it was fun. Not footie family but we throw balled up socks at each other and TV too if we see another unstable politician. Glad you like the cartoons Jo x #CandidCuddles
This is brilliant Jo! My husband took great care of the kiddies in my absent. They watched the Ireland match together on Sunday. I thoroughly enjoyed my day out at #BML but am playing catch up now! Thank you for sharing with #candidcuddles, I hope to see you back in August! x
Thanks so much Becky – glad you enjoyed it, and wished we’d spent time together. Wasn’t it a whirl? Great luck with your other competition and hope you win. Let us know Jo #candidcuddles
‘Well jell that I couldn’t get to BML this year! Very funny, Love the ‘fancy hat cartoon’ and your ‘ before and after’ – inspired! The bloke in the pub (first cartoon) with the white t-shirt looks like a bloke in our village!! Love it #chucklemums
Thanks and happy you liked the cartoons. Funny thing with drawing is that whenever i draw someone imaginary they come to life somewhere. I imagine the bloke in your village didnt exist before i drew him of course 😉 #chucklemums
Shaving tablecloth off a school uniform is a genius idea (although putting them in together kid of negates that genius…).
It emerges I did not have to worry, my children were absolutely fine although they both missed me so much they had me up regularly in the night following BML. So that was fun! #chucklemums
hehe yes i’d like to think it was my OH who put them in together but it might have been this idiot. Lord there’s always a price to pay isn’t there. Wait till they’re grown up then knock on their door and climb into bed with them. #chucklemums
It’s really fantastic and funny post i ever seen.
Thanks for sharing us.
Thanks Penny 🙂 Jo